Tell Them What to Do With Friday

"Let me know if there's anything I can do."

You've probably heard it a dozen times since the news. You may have said it yourself, to someone else, back when you were the one with a job. It's usually sincere, and it usually goes nowhere.

The trouble is that it hands the work back to you. To take someone up on it, you'd have to figure out what you need, decide they're the right person for it, and then ask, all in a week when deciding what to have for lunch can feel like a lot.

So the offer sits there, and you both meant well.

Make the ask small enough to say yes to

What works better is a specific ask: one person, one thing, with a time attached.

Can we get coffee on Friday? Would you look at my LinkedIn and tell me if anyone you know would be worth an introduction? Do you know someone at your company who'd be open to a twenty-minute call about how their team works? Would you read my résumé before I send it out next week?

The person you're asking can answer any of those with yes or no thanks, and either answer is fine. They don't have to guess what would help, and if they can't do it, they can say so without feeling like they've let you down.

It also asks less of them than the broad version. "Keep me in mind if you hear of anything" asks them to remember you at the right moment, weeks from now, on their own. "Would you introduce me to Dana on your team?" asks them to do one thing, today.

Why it's worth the awkwardness

Asking can feel uncomfortable, especially right now. It's also where a lot of new jobs start.

In 2022, researchers from LinkedIn, Harvard, Stanford and MIT published a study in Science that followed about twenty million LinkedIn users over five years. The connections most likely to lead to a new job weren't people's closest contacts. They were weaker ties, the people they knew less well.⁠¹ A smaller survey found something similar in plain numbers: thirty-one percent of respondents said they found their most recent job through networking, compared with eleven percent through an online job board.⁠²

Those weaker ties are often the same people telling you to let them know if there's anything they can do. A specific ask is how you take them up on it.

And once you try it, it's rarely as awkward as it sounds. People are often relieved to be handed something concrete. An offer that had been hanging over them turns into a simple yes or no. That isn't awkward. It's clear.

If you're the friend who wants to help

The same idea works from the other side.

If someone you know just lost their job, you can skip "let me know" and offer them one thing they can say yes or no to. I'm free Friday morning, can I buy you coffee? Want me to look through my connections for anyone at the companies on your list? I can read your résumé this weekend if a second set of eyes would help. My manager is hiring for a role close to yours, can I send her your name?

They might say no. They might not know yet what would help. Either way, you've made it easier for them to come back to you when they do.

Someone is paying for the introduction

A lot of people already do this work for free. They read a friend's résumé on a Sunday, think of the one person who should see it, and make the introduction. When that leads to a hire, the company often pays a recruiter a fee for finding the candidate. The friend who actually made the connection gets a thank-you.

Twill, founded by Michelle Volberg, is built on the idea that the person who made the match should get paid for it. It's a referral-based hiring company for roles in tech. Companies tell Twill what they're hiring for, and Twill's members, experienced professionals in engineering, product, sales and other fields, recommend people they know. Twill vets the recommendations, and when one leads to a hire, the member can earn up to half of the fee the company pays.⁠³ The company only pays when someone is hired.

It works for the companies too. Volberg has said generative AI "has made it really difficult for both candidates and hiring managers," in part because so many résumés now arrive polished and tailored to the posting that they're hard to tell apart.⁠⁴ A recommendation from someone who has worked alongside a candidate tells a hiring manager something a résumé can't. As every résumé starts to look perfect, being vouched for by a real person may count for more, not less.

It's a good example of a company looking at a part of hiring that doesn't work well for anyone and building something better. Professionals can apply to become members.⁠⁵ If you're the person your friends already call when they're looking, it's worth a look.

One name, one ask

Think of someone who has said some version of "let me know." There's probably one specific thing they could do that would actually help. Asking for it is the whole move.

Some people will say yes, and some will say no thanks. Either way, you'll both know where you stand, and the offer stops hanging in the air.

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